The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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