thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize