Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
