Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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