your thong is hanging out like whoa
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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