Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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