OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
