What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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