Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
