Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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