I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
