Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just sent this text using only my big toe
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize