Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize