My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
