it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
