Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
