I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We have started to decorate penises.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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