they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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