Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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