I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
