Do you still have your period?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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