I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
