The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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