Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize