you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
