Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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