Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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