then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Found the puke drawer
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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