i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She's the barista slut.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
