just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
