how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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