White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
