At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
