Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
