I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
