I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
