"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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