I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
