With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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