sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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