dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
