Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize