tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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