He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
