i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
