Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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