you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
