guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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