Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize