i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
