no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
