areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
