I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
