I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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