East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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