tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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