Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
