Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
