All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
