You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize