i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
