You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
